If you live with ADHD, you probably know the strange mental pause that happens before an upcoming appointment, event, or even a phone call. Your brain doesn’t want to start anything big, but you can’t fully relax either. That stuck, in-between state? That’s waiting mode — and it’s a lot more common than people realise.

I know this feeling inside out. I’ve lived it, and I still do. This post isn’t written from a distance — it’s coming from someone who knows how real and disruptive this can be. Let’s break it down together, understand why it happens, and explore practical strategies to make waiting time work for you, not against you.

What Is ADHD Waiting Mode?

Waiting mode happens when your ADHD brain gets caught between now and "later." You know you have something coming up — maybe a doctor’s appointment, a work meeting, or a call — and suddenly, your mental bandwidth is completely tied up by that one thing.

You can’t focus. You can’t start anything that takes too much energy. And you probably can’t stop checking the clock either.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve caught myself staring at the clock, telling myself I "should" be doing something useful, but instead feeling frozen. This is tied closely to time blindness, time agnosia, and executive dysfunction — all common challenges in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

Why Does This Happen?

Neurotypical brains can usually chunk time and context switch fairly easily. But with ADHD, executive functioning gets hijacked by even a small disruption in the day. This isn’t laziness or poor time management — it’s a real neurological barrier.

I’ve often built entire days around one looming appointment, convinced I couldn’t "start anything real" until it passed. Here’s why waiting mode feels so intense:

• Your brain attaches a sense of urgency to the next thing.

• You fear losing track of time and being late.

• You struggle to re-engage with a task once interrupted.

• You have no clear structure for how long anything takes.

And sometimes, even when you do have time, you don’t trust yourself to use it well. That’s part of life with ADHD. I’ve had afternoons where I knew I had two hours but still couldn’t start anything because it felt like the next task was just around the corner.

The Emotional Toll

Being stuck in waiting mode isn’t just inconvenient — it can be a stressful experience. You might:

• Feel guilty for “wasting so much time”

• Experience task paralysis

• Default to social media or doomscrolling as a coping mechanism

• Berate yourself for having a messy to-do list and no motivation

I’ve been there more times than I can count — caught between shame for not being productive and the inability to just "snap out of it." I know what it’s like to be flooded with self-judgment before a therapist appointment, stuck in a cycle of potential mistakes and imagined consequences. Knowing how common and valid this experience is was a game-changer for me.

The Good News

There are effective ways to work with your waiting brain instead of against it. You don't have to fight the feeling — just learn to shift it.

Let’s walk through the best ways to do just that. These are things I use personally — not theoretical ideas, but real tools that have helped me through the fog.

1. Use Brain Dumps to Free Your Mind

Often, what's keeping you stuck is a whirl of unspoken thoughts. A quick brain dump can release that mental noise and help you move forward.

Try this:

• Grab paper or open Notes app

• Set a 2-minute timer

• Write everything on your mind (no order, no judgment)

I do this almost daily — especially when my brain is noisy but I can’t act. This helps reduce attention regulation strain and creates manageable steps from mental chaos.

2. Identify Low-Effort Tasks

Waiting mode is not the time for deep work. But it can be the perfect time for simple tasks that don't drain you.

Make a short list of low-effort tasks, such as:

• Folding laundry

• Emptying the dishwasher

• Checking one item off your to-do list

• Sending a quick text reply

• Tidying one drawer or counter

These can give you a hit of completion and help build momentum. They also help your brain regain trust that small wins are still worth it.

3. Set Time Anchors

When your brain can't trust time, use external markers. Setting a set time or timer can help combat time blindness and boost action.

Try this:

• "I'll do 10 minutes of email before my doctor's appointment."

• "I have plenty of time for a small chore. I'll stop at 2:15."

• "I'll clean for one song, then stop."

This creates a buffer that makes the task feel safer and more contained.

4. Practice Mindfulness Techniques

Sometimes, what your nervous system really needs is calm. If you're spinning or anxious, try grounding yourself with mindfulness techniques:

• Take 5 deep breaths, slowly and intentionally

• Focus on one sensation: feet on floor, hands on mug

• Say out loud: "I am safe and I am not late."

I resisted mindfulness for years. But honestly? It helps. Not because it fixes ADHD, but because it grounds me just enough to get through the next moment.

5. Redefine Success in the Waiting Period

Your goal isn’t to “get everything done” before your upcoming appointment. Your goal is to soften the edges of the day.

Here’s a new way to think about it:

• "Success" is doing manageable steps, not giant leaps

• "Progress" is anything that reduces the clutter in your brain

• You don’t need a perfect system, just one that works most days

I have to remind myself of this constantly. On days when I can’t do much, doing one thing well still counts.

Next Time You're Stuck...

Remember this:

• Waiting times are not wasted times.

• You can’t control time perception, but you can control your rhythm.

• You’re not alone in this. It’s a real part of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

And if all else fails? Take one breath, choose one thing, and do it.

That’s more than enough. It’s what I do too.

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